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Wedding Traditions: The Why and How of the Wedding Toast

Attend a wedding reception and you are sure to be subjected to a shower of toasts from family and friends of the happy couple.

A toast is a public recognition of a special occasion and is usually given in the form of a speech. However, songs and poems have been known to be expertly delivered by a creative Toastmaster. Keeping the toast appropriate to the couple's sense of decency will achieve the object of the toast: to honor the person(s) being toasted by delivering the toast with interest and with no potential for embarrassment to anyone, including the Toastmaster.

Their wedding day is a special day for the Bride and Groom. Along with this fact is the knowing that today's 'family' may include people not related by blood or marriage. Therefore, it is wise to keep in mind that an established protocol to follow for making toasts may, or may not, be followed by the wedding couple.

At the Rehearsal Dinner:

• The Best Man toasts the Bride

• The Bride toasts the Groom

• The Groom toasts the Brides Mother

• The Bride's Father may toast the Groom's Parents

At the Wedding Reception:

• The Groom toasts the Bride and her Family

• The Groom's Father toasts the Bride and Groom, welcoming the Bride into the family

• The Bride's Father thanks Guests for attending the reception

• The Best Man toasts the Bride's Maids and the Wedding Party

• The Maid of Honor toasts the Bride and Guests

• A selected Usher toasts the Bride's Mother

• A selected Bride's Maid toasts the Groom's Mother

• The Master of Ceremonies (MC), usually the Best Man, toasts Guests who have traveled a long distance to attend the wedding

• The MC reads any (shortened) correspondence received from Guests who were unable to attend the wedding

• The MC toasts the Caterer and the Staff attending to the needs of the Guests

• The Bride and Groom toast each other

Wedding Traditions: How to Perform a Toast

Toasts are completely necessary and expected at many social events. Toasts can be enlightening, can be entertaining or, can completely throw a social event off-track if they are not executed with thoughtfulness for the occasion.

If you plan on attending a wedding, chances are you will bear witness to more than the couple exchanging wedding vows as you may be expected to weather a shower of toasts to the happy couple during the reception. You may even be asked to 'say a few words' during the reception. If the latter is the case, then know that this request comes with the hidden meaning of giving a speech lasting 2-3 minutes and may include personalized comments about the couple, tips on a happy marriage, or other words of wisdom. Only at the end of this speech comes your toast.

The object of a wedding toast is to make the Bride and Groom feel honored in becoming a couple. The first round of toasts should be held just before the wedding meal is eaten with the Master of Ceremonies (MC), usually the Best Man, toasting the newly united couple. The MC follows this toast by outlining the reception itinerary for the Guests and notes that toasts to the Bride and Groom will directly follow the meal.

No matter what the order of toasting, each person (Toastmaster) will want to deliver their message in an entertaining way. Each Toastmaster may take one of many approaches; from a formal speech, to a special song, to the recitation of a poem to impart their congratulations to the Bride and Groom. Should a Toastmaster have a special and well crafted talent, such as dancing or the playing of a musical instrument, they may choose to deliver their toast through that medium. If this is the case then the toast will be done at the end of their 'talent show'.

Typically the person giving, and those joining in a toast stand, while the recipient(s) of a toast remain seated. A simple nod of the recipient's head, a smile or raising their glass is acknowledgment of a toast.

Easy Steps to Performing a Wedding Toast:

1. Stand

2. Make sure that everyone's glass is full before your toast is performed

3. Let your gaze go slowly over the group (while their glasses are being filled)

4. Take two calming breaths before speaking while glasses are being filled

5. Speak loudly enough so that the entire group assembled may hear your toast

6. Keep your toast simple and appropriate

7. Raise your glass a bit higher than right shoulder height

8. To mark the end of your toast, invite all Guests to stand and join you in wishing the newlyweds happiness and good health

9. Take a sip from your glass – if there are a large number of Guests, it is not necessary to clink glasses.

10. Sit down

If you have been asked to give a speech and/or toast and are not comfortable doing this, then decline the invitation to speak. Do let the Bride and Groom know ahead of time so they are not expecting you to speak at the reception.